Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Feedback on writing

I've been re-reading the introductory coments you've been posting. I thought I'd mash them, and create a word cloud to see what came up the most; here it is:


Secondly, I'd like to share some common errors. 

Please don't feel self-conscious or singled-out about the mistakes, I hope this is useful for everyone, regardless of whether it was you who produced the sentence.

I'd like you to think about them, and comment below what the correct version of these sentences would be. Choose 2 or 3 of them and explain why.
  1. I am an opened mind girl...
  2. ...since I was fourteen years old I am doing an activity...
  3. I used to dyed my hair...
  4. I've studied Japanese since I'm 12...
  5. I find difficult discribe myself...
  6. I hope improve my vocabulary...
  7. ...and play piano...
  8. I’m looking forward improving my English...
  9. I'm turning 18 in August 25...
  10. I love the music...
  11. I'm used to listen at people who talk in English
  12. i will do my best effort.
  13. Finally i want to approve the lesson...
  14. I don't have a particular hobby.
  15. I have another extra activities...
  16. ...on winter i always go...
  17. ...it's important know another idiom...
  18. It can helps you a lot...
  19. I'm looking foward to get prepare to...
  20. I have a lots of hobbies...
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22 comments:

  1. Malena Palmieri28 March 2012 at 12:29

    6) I hope improve my vocabulary...

    I would write.. I hope I can improve my english vocabulary in the future.


    7)...and play piano...

    and playing piano

    17) ...it's important know another idiom...

    it's important TO know another idiom...

    3) I used to dyed my hair..

    I used to DYE my hair. (TO + INF.)

    12) i will do my best effort.

    I will try to do my best


    Mariela, I had written the 1st one, the mistake is that I had put OPEN with -ed? I don't know if not.

    It's ok what I had coment above?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela28 March 2012 at 13:20

      Hi Malena,
      I agree with your corrections for #3 and #17. Watch out, there is still another mistake in #17. Your version of #6 is perfect, although another pattern is possible too. What you wrote for #12 is ok; but what if I want to use the word 'effort'? What does it collocate with? And there's still something I don't like about sentence #7.

      As for #1, think about adjectives like 'bad-tempered', 'big-headed', 'two-faced'. Where does the ~ed go?

      Delete
    2. Malena Palmieri30 March 2012 at 16:28

      and playing the piano 7

      and i still don't understand what you said from 1

      Delete
    3. Mariela31 March 2012 at 03:47

      THE piano is much better.

      As for #1, think about the following:
      'open' is an adjective; 'mind' is a noun. 'Open' modifies 'mind'. If you want to use the idea of 'open mind' like a compound adjective "I am a _______ girl" to modify girl, you can't, because 'open mind' is a compound NOUN. So by adding ~ed, 'minded' can function like an ADJECTIVE. The correct adjective is OPEN-MINDED.
      Look at other examples:
      A girl with red hair = a red-hairED girl
      A boy with blue eyes = a blue-eyED boy
      So, a girl with an open mind = an open-mindED girl

      Does that make sense to you?

      Delete
    4. Malena Palmieri31 March 2012 at 16:33

      yes, it makes sence. Thank you.

      Dou you recive my e-mail with the other homework? about the poe toaster?

      Delete
    5. Mariela1 April 2012 at 11:16

      Yes, I've just opened the e-mail. I will be sending corrections for all your work soon.

      Delete
  2. Victoria28 March 2012 at 15:42

    2) ...since I'm fourteen years old I've been doing this activity (the Prefect Perfect is to show a habit in the past that is still a habit in the present)

    4)I've studied Japanese since I was 12 (This was my mistake! Ouch haha)

    N° 8 and 19
    I'm looking foward to (verb in ing)....

    20) I have a lot of hobbies
    OR
    I have lots of hobbies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela28 March 2012 at 15:53

      I totally agree with all your corrections but one: you corrected a mistake in sentence #4, and yet you made the same mistake in #2 :s
      So be careful with 'since'+time clauses

      Delete
    2. Victoria28 March 2012 at 17:50

      Yes, I noticed about it after posting the entry, so there was nothing to do about it. Number 2 is '...since I was fourteen years old...'
      Silly me, I'll be more careful the next time!

      Delete
    3. Mariela28 March 2012 at 18:01

      I understand, it's really annoying not to be able to edit comments!

      Delete
  3. V.P30 March 2012 at 09:36

    6)I hope improve my vocabulary...
    I hope TO improve my vocabulary

    17)it's important know another idiom...
    it's important TO know another idiom

    18) It can helps you a lot...
    It can HELP you a lot...

    Valentín Pastorini

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela31 March 2012 at 03:36

      Very good, Valentin, but there's still something odd about sentence #17

      Delete
  4. Guada3 April 2012 at 14:28

    I have a lots of hobbies...
    i have a lot of hobbies..

    6)I hope improve my vocabulary...
    i hope i can be able to improve my vocabulary

    I am an opened mind girl...
    i am an open minded girl

    I've studied Japanese since I'm 12...
    i've been studying Japanese since i'm 12..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela3 April 2012 at 18:12

      I agree on 'i have a lot of hobbies..' and 'i am an open minded girl'
      #6 is a little redundant, if you combine can + be able, so choose one structure
      'i've been studying Japanese since i'm 12..' should be 'since I WAS 12'

      Delete
  5. Mariana3 April 2012 at 17:21

    I used to dyed my hair
    I used to dye my hair

    .since I was fourteen years old I am doing an activity
    .since I was fourteen years old I've been doing an activity.

    I love the music
    I love music

    ReplyDelete
  6. Paula A.3 April 2012 at 20:30

    ...and play piano...
    I guess it's "and I play THE piano". This was my mistake. When numbering the instruments that I'm able to play, I always get confused, I don't know why.

    I find difficult discribe myself...
    I find IT difficult TO describe myself, maybe?

    It can helps you a lot...
    It can help you a lot, or it could help you a lot, depends on the context.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela4 April 2012 at 02:57

      Exactly.

      Remember musical instruments always take the definite article.

      Delete
  7. Guadalupe Garcia4 April 2012 at 11:04

    I love the music...
    I love music or I love listening to music.

    I used to dyed my hair
    I used to dye my hair

    I have another extra activities...
    I do another extra activity...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Manuel Pardi10 April 2012 at 17:45

    ...and play piano...
    ...and playing the piano...

    I’m looking forward improving my English...
    I'm looking forward to improve my english...

    I love the music...
    I love music...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mariela10 April 2012 at 18:02

      Thanks Manuel

      I agree with "I love music..."

      But these, I don't completely agree with:

      ...and play piano...
      ...and playing the piano...

      I’m looking forward improving my English...
      I'm looking forward to improve my english...

      Read your classmates comments above, and try to find the right correction

      Delete

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